The Northwest's Biggest & Best Casino - Muckleshoot Casino

Destination: Auburn

Slayer made an album called South of Heaven. Washington incorporated a city called South of Kent.
But most of you know it as Auburn.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uzae_SqbmDE
Auburn can be reached by highway 18, which once boasted the title of most dangerous highway in the United States. That means those that lived made it to Auburn and developed a city. Like Mad Max.
And look no further than the burn pit at the Fireworks stand for the Thunderdome. Every year around The Fourth of July, people from all over the Puget Sound visit the Muckleshoot reservation to buy fireworks. I am told this is 70% of the Auburn economy. The other 30% comes from the trauma unit at the hospital.
In most Washington cities, fireworks are illegal. Or, rather, the caliber of fireworks found at Muckleshoot are illegal. For 20 dollars, you can purchase the amount of gun powder used throughout the entire Civil War all wrapped up in a cardboard burrito and ready to blow your hand or hands off.
From Whistling Petes to tennis balls full of gun powder, you are given a dirt lot to light off just about anything and just go nuts. Typically, "just go nuts" and tons of explosives are frowned upon in societies outside the Middle East. But in Auburn, it's encouraged. Fingers, limbs, and heads are blown off every year in order to elect a mayor last-man-standing style.
But The Fourth of July is only once a year, so you'll need to go beyond Beyond Thunderdome for the equivalent outside of July: gambling.
If you think losing your thumb and nose to a mortar rocket is painful, try losing your life savings to a slot machine based on a television show. Muckleshoot casino can offer you this. Price is Right, Wheel of Fortune, Star Wars - they all have slot machines aimed to make you think gambling is entertainment. And let me tell you something: if you win 300 dollars, then lose 400, then win 100, then lose 1000, then win 100 you are being entertained: through math.
Speaking of entertainment, Auburn is also home to Green River Community College: Home of the Whopper. You can get an AA, one menu item, and a soft drink for a student loan you'll have well into your AARP days. Keep telling yourself "I'm transferring to the U next quarter" as you take bong hits out of the potato gun you made last semester in Modern Art 101. Check out their Running Start program where you pay 500 dollars a quarter to intern at Taco Bell.
If you're like me, you like to kick back and watch a concert - what better venue than The White River Amphitheater. White River is becoming the go-to for top acts from music to comedy. You would think this would generate city sized crowds and you'd be right. You'd also think they'd have more than a one way dirt road in and out of the amphitheater - they don't. Let me tell you something: if you're going to see a concert at White River, you're essentially camping. Now you may choose to camp outside the theater in someone's yard or you can camp for seven hours in traffic on the road leading to Highway 18, either way you're camping. But let's talk about lifestyles - what can Auburn offer you? Well, your cousin for starters. Do you want seconds? Auburn has a Waltons in Compton way of life that is rivaled by no other. Let's say you want to join a street gang, but you still love country music - Auburn has you covered. And boy do they: at any time in Auburn there's a 90% chance there is a gun drawn on you. This could be a gangbanger, survivalist, cop, hunter, teacher, doctor, priest, or an anti-gun protester driven to the final edge.
In addition to wild west shootings, Auburn has an array of local fast food joints. These aren't just your everyday McDonalds or Burger Kings, these are independent burger joints that serve a great meal at a reasonable price. Just don't expect fancy city things like licenses or food handling permits.
Auburn is also the home of Washington National golf course, which is home to the UW men's and women's golf teams. So, you can see how that college thing comes full circle.
All in all, you couldn't find a better city to find yourself out of a job, divorced, and wiping with a flannel shirt in an Applebee's bathroom at 1 AM because they're out of toilet paper again.
submitted by levilarrington to DestinationWa [link] [comments]

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Muckleshoot Fireworks (12) - YouTube

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